


Plus he's there for you

by BrightDream



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, Comfort, F/M, Gen, Guilt, Just after Cuba, Mentions of Erik/Charles, Mentions of past abuse, Moira is guilty, Moira's love is unrequited, Sean isn't just a kid, me trying to english
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-01
Updated: 2013-07-01
Packaged: 2017-12-16 19:19:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/865635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrightDream/pseuds/BrightDream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Moira sits next to Charles' bed in the hospital, feeling guilty and miserable. Sean is there for her, though, and for the first time she sees he's much more than a kid.</p><p>Works as a character study and it's gen, although I personally see it as the first step towards Moira/Sean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Plus he's there for you

**Author's Note:**

> My attempt at writing Moira, because I don't think she gets enough love on her own.
> 
> Title stolen from "Daydreamer" by Adele, because that's the perfect definition for Sean in my headcanon.

 

She sits on the chair next to the bed and watches as the clock gently tickles.

In her mind, she sees it all again: Charles on the floor, a bullet in his back ( _her_ bullet, from _her_ weapon), Erik wearing a helmet, preaching about supremacy. Missiles, so many of them, from Soviets and Americans both, from her own bosses, the very few people she has seen and reported to everyday in these last few years...

“Hey”

 She startles with a hand in her shoulder, but when she turns to check it’s just Sean. He looks as awful as she probably does, long red hair still dirty with sand and his expression very concerned.

“He didn’t wake up, did he?”

He’s looking at Charles’ hospital bed, the bed in which he still sleeps, face calm as an angel. (Moira tries not to imagine how his face will look like when he wakes up and hears the news.)

“Nothing yet”

Sean sighs and pulls the other chair by her side.  His long legs cross over the ankles and it’s just then that she realizes he has changed from the black and yellow uniform.

“Where did you get the jeans?”

“Oh, Hank went home and brought me and Alex a change of clothes. He can’t stay here, not, you know-“

“Being blue” she finishes for him.

“I can ask him to bring you something, if you want.” He offers.

“I don’t want anything”

That sounds absurd, because in this moment there are at least a half dozen things she wants. She wants her old life back, wants Charles to be okay, wants Erik and Raven here, where they should be, by his side and not somewhere far away. She wants to sleep for a thousand years and to cry in peace, wants to kill Erik, wants Charles to wake up and tell her that he’ll be fine, really, _really_ will.

She reaches for Charles’ right hand and grips it between hers. It’s warm and soft and she has to fight back a tear. It was her shot, her finger in the trigger, and now Charles, wonderful Charles, happy and smug and ridiculous, won’t ever walk again.

Is almost as if Sean is the telepath, or perhaps he just sees the desperate grip she has on Charles’ hand. What matter is, he shifts closer, rests a hand on her forearm. His hands are big and gentle and comforting and for God sakes, Sean’s nineteen years old, she should be the one comforting him and not the contrary.

“It’s okay” she tells him, trying to sound strong “I’m fine, I just...-“

“You’re not fine” his voice is firm “And you don’t have to be, either. You have the right to feel sad about what happened”

Moira huffs. 

“Is not... I...- Just don’t worry about it”

But Sean’s hand still holds her arm gently.

“You love him, don’t you?” he asks very quietly.

Moira can’t help stiffing in his seat. 

She never was one to talk about feelings, not ever since Joe happened in her life. She never really _had_ any feelings after her first marriage, thank you very much. She had found out the hard way what happened with a woman in love and decided she didn’t want to be one ever again.

But then Charles Xavier had happened in her life, with those ridiculous pick up lines and those blue eyes.  She never really intended to fall, especially not after she realized she didn’t stood a chance against Erik. 

Yet...

 “I think I do” she whispers.

Sean doesn’t answer for a long time. He just caresses her skin in a soothing manner, lets the silence grow.

“I thought so, you know” he says finally “I actually thought you and the Professor had something going on at first. But then I realized that... Well, you know, that he and Erik played for the other team.  But the way you looked at him...”

Moira lets go of Charles’ hand and turns to Sean, surprised.

She always thought Sean was a strange acquisition to the team, to be true. He was too young, too silly and his power, despite being quite interesting, was not so useful in the long run. The days that they had all stayed in the Mansion then, had only contributed to make that opinion stronger.

She labeled Sean as just a kid, but now she realizes he’s a little more than that.

“You really notice things” she says slowly, making Sean smile a bit.

“Yeah, I know. I like to observe and people don’t think a lot of me so I just... Do”

She nods, but then remembers that the boy actually knows a bit too much.

“Please, don’t tell anyone about any of this, Sean.  Not about me and not about Charles and Erik either. You know how these things go and I just don’t want to put Charles in any more stress than he will already be”

 “Of course”

Moira sits back on her chair and notices Sean’s hand lowering to grip her hand instead. It feels different on some level, but still too comforting for her to care.

“I’m sorry to bring out the subject, anyway.” He says after a while “I guess I just wanted to say that... Well, I understand you.  So that I could say that... I know I’m not of very much use, but if you need anything, you should just say it. You know, if you want to talk, or just...” he trails off, awkward.

“Thank you, Sean”

She actually means it. She still feels awful and guilty, but now that there’s someone holding her hand and comforting with kindness, it does feel better.

Sean is indeed one of the last people she expected to be comforted by, but this world is so strange she doesn’t question it anymore. It's enough that he is here, and that he'll listen, because she has to talk, _has to_ , to let it out. 

"It was my bullet" Moira confesses, thinking instead _It was my fault._

“I know. But we don't blame you” Sean says firmly.

Moira feels the tears closer to her eyes.

“You don’t?” she asks, voice so weak that she is reminded of the times she pleaded with Joe, the times she was pathetic and submissive and sad. She almost expects the mockery tone in response, but when Sean speaks his voice is very gentle.

“I don’t. And Hank agrees with me, and Alex, of course. How could we blame you? You were trying to save lives, Moira, _you_.  Erik is the one to be blamed, and I’m sure the Professor agrees. He said it himself, didn’t he? And if we’re all okay, if the Professor is alright, is alive, it’s all because you stayed. _You._ “

They are okay, aren’t they? They could have died in that beach, all of them, or perhaps just Charles if that bullet had hit a little higher.  They could have failed in getting to a hospital fast enough or something could have happened in the middle of the way.

However, here they are. Charles may never walk again, but at least he’s alive.  At least they are okay. 

"You don't think Charles will hate me, then?" she asks. 

Sean actually smiles at that. 

"The Prof doesn't hate anyone. I'm guessing here, but if know him at least a little bit, I think he'll be grateful that you're here. That you stayed." 

She has. She will. 

She refuses to deal with her guilt as Erik and Raven, running away. She may be a human, they may think she is weak, but at least she is here, at least she is facing what happened. 

“ _You should never be anything but proud of yourself, love_ ” Charles had said to her once. It was the day he first glimpsed the  secret parts of her mind, saw what had happened with Joe, saw how she had become a CIA agent despite everything and a  _damn_ good one.  

She grips Sean’s hand tighter and lets out a long sigh.

 _You should never be anything but proud of yourself,_ Moira repeats inside her head, and with the words fresh in her mind and Sean's hand in hers, she  finally, _finally_ , wins the battle against tears.

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language, sorry for any mistakes.


End file.
